Installment Two

Some interesting people ride city transit. The spectrum is very broad.

I sat next to a guy a few weeks ago who smelled like heaven. I even tweeted about how good he smelled...hopefully he wasn't reading the text over my shoulder...that would be embarrassing.

And then the next day, USHER was on my bus. Okay, well not REALLY but he looked a lot like the real thing. I had to do a double take before I realized...ya right, Usher wouldn't ride city transit. Usher wouldn't be here period. It's freaking COLD here.

And then yesterday there was leash kid and leash kids' sister. Leash kid was, well, on a leash. It was actually more like a harness...with a monkey on the back and then a leash. And leash kid screamed the entire time he was on the bus. Kill me.

And leash kids' sister, she was trying to pull her tooth out... ON THE BUS! Are you kidding me? And the parents...do nothing. About either kid.

There's also Can Lady. She rides the bus fairly regularly. She's this older Asian lady, she's bow-legged, like to point where it looks like someone tied her ankles together after putting her on a horse and left her there for 10 years. Poor woman. Anyway...Can Lady brings huge garbage bags full of empty cans and bottles on the bus...but she carries them on a hobo stick. That's the best way to describe it...and she always does it during rush hour. So, the bus is already packed and then on comes Can Lady with her giant bags of dirty cans that she picked outta the garbages all over town. Gross.

So...to sum up...interesting people ride city transit. Some are interesting for good reasons...others for not so good reasons.

Installment One

I ride city transit everyday. Everyday. That makes me an expert.


There are some things I need to say...


First of all when you sit down almost ON TOP of someone and then they move over, this is NOT and invitation for you to move closer to them. They are trying to get away from you. This is not an invitation to squish them into the corner. And they are not making more room for you on the seat, they are simply trying to breathe their own air.


Secondly, if you're going to ride transit please refrain from being disgusting...even if it comes naturally. Not everyone appreciates your unusual ability to be grotesque. So things such as picking your teeth with an earring and then putting said earring back in your ear or wearing pants that don't fit over your large belly so that they fall off when you stand up are not acceptable.


Thirdly, SHOWER. Say it with me SHOWER. It's no surprise that riding transit during rush hour means being shoved like sardines into a small, enclosed, sometimes hot space and as such, showers are a necessity. We do NOT want to smell what you had for dinner last night on your skin or the odor you give off because you refuse to clean yourself. Small cramped spaces are not a good place for these smells. If someone told you they were...they LIED. So please, shower...or else DON'T ride transit out of respect for people with noses. Thank you.


This concludes the first installment of Miserable Bologna: My Life in Public Transit.